Monolith that isn’t

I look upon woman 

Soft and smooth 

Silk for skin

Light and paper thin

I look upon myself

-Only satisfied when the mirror is fogged- 

And I’m not sure what to make of her

A sculpted ambiguity 

And the feeling that I am not what she is supposed to be 

And I can never figure out if I am her or you 

Or if you are desire 

And so my face turns blue 

As I hold in as much as I can 

Because I want to fit so bad 

In this crevice of a life

That I’d take a little until it turns into a lot and a lot becomes enough 

You will never value me the way you value them 

And so I will not either 

why should we placate you 

When you will never appease us

Instead,

I take a little until a little turns into a lot and a lot becomes too much 

Until my lungs are blue 

From trying to please you 

And your insatiable desire

To control monolith that isn’t 

Until all of us suffer 

And in the end there’s nothing left 

But the crumbling tumbling rubble of your regret