(things i think of in bed:) I LIVE A LONELY LIFE

I LIVE A LONELY LIFE  

    i lay at night 

        a lonely night in the presence of absent light,,, and feel alone. it’s nice 

          safely, nicely, i retrace thoughts from the past 

thoughts being born; where were they conceived? 

          i live lonely nights

          in the comfort of my own home; soft blankets of red and grey

      and the sheets I never change 

and the pillows made of memories, absorbing all my dreams 

     —of the life i don’t have 

and the feelings i can’t shake—

    the sometimes cat and the heart that always aches

when it’s gotten to be too much 

and I know my thoughts now all too well — 

where a little becomes a lot and a lot becomes too much  

i choose to go to sleep 

      break away from the peaceful pain of          

the anxiety that kicks in right before I start to dream 

         to enter a world where anything can happen, 

          and I’d come out unscathed 

to wake up, forget it all, and do it all over again